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It’s no secret that I’m kind of fascinated yet still terrified at the thought of a never-ending hell loop. A lot of the music I make centers around the idea of the afterlife, but recently it kicked into another gear.
Even if you don’t “believe” hell is a real place, you have to admit it’s been covered ubiquitously throughout time; from TV shows like Twilight Zone (“Judgement Night”, anyone?), to crime dramas like the Sopranos, films like Jacob’s Ladder, I could keep going, but for now I’ll stop. I don’t want to get too distracted.
About a year or so ago, I started watching The Vampire Diaries, and just now got to season 7. To be honest, the show was really good for a while, and then started to taper (in my opinion). A lot goes on in the series, and it can be hard to focus on every little story happening. So my mind began to wander.
I got a bit bored with it, until episode 11: Hell Is Other People
No Exit
Based on a play by Jean Paul Sartre, the episode’s title is a reference to Sartre’s idea that it’s possible 3 dead people’s souls can be trapped together for eternity, in a single locked room, forced to endure their own guilt, lies, and the inescapable judgment of each other.
Horrifying.
Without getting too much into the backstory in VD, Damon’s soul basically gets trapped inside a rock, and he endures one of these hell loops. On top of that, he keeps seeing his dead mother, whom he couldn’t forgive before she died. The whole thing is incredibly uncomfortable and really demands your attention, perhaps better than a lot of the other episodes.
Some people like to think nothing happens to you after you die. That you simply cease to exist. The bible says our thoughts perish, but the soul is still judged. Your spirit man. In other words, the real you.
Even as an agnostic, I had a healthy fear of the unknown. Because if I’m wrong and there actually is a God and I end up going to hell for my unbelief, that’s a long time of suffering (eternity, that is).
And yes, the bible also says the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. Not the end-all. But if you’re reading this and you don’t even believe there’s a God, the bible also says, “The fool has said in his heart, there is no God.” (Psalm 14:1)
And if you think that’s too simplistic a way to put it, the bible also says that God has literally “set eternity in the human heart.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11). So no man can stand before him and say otherwise.
People will always have an inkling there’s something more, even if they outright deny it in this life. The hope is that everyone will be saved, but that is, of course, not biblical.
I have struggled with this for much of my saved life.
And I got to thinking about the lonely journey we all face.
That every man has to come to terms with his own demise. We intuitively know there’s something more because God gave that innate sense to us.
This universal longing for something beyond this existence, which is but a drop in the bucket. Or a flash in the pan.
Even as a born-again Christian, I’ve felt it countless times throughout the years. I felt it when I wasn’t one, and I’ve felt it now that I am. That we all face death alone, and even if you know where you’re going, the journey there is still uncertain. This life changes, but eternity is fixed. It’s set.
Damon was definitely not prepared for his own death (at the time). If you’re familiar with the show, he’s very stubborn and strong-willed.
I suppose Stefan can be too, but he’s softer, and I don’t mean that in a bad way. He, too, experiences the hell-loop, and though it was different, he was able to come back from it because he’s way less stubborn than Damon.
Speaking of Stefan, his loop was a never-ending Damon always around every corner. That’s terrifying in itself lol. Then he says something pretty heartbreaking about Damon, but I won’t spoil it.
*Spoilers ahead*
Later on in the show, Damon has his mind manipulated into delivering souls to hell under the direction of Cade, so he gets to kind of experience hellfire firsthand – because his mind essentially belonged to Cade, and there was absolutely nothing he could do about it.
Also terrifying.
But back to the innate sense. The beat I’ve prepared for you towards the end of this article has a few samples in it: Most notably, one from Lauryn Hill, and the other from Action Bronson. I don’t know anything about Action Bronson’s faith or belief, but I know when he says “And from a thin thread, my soul dangles,” he can at least recognize eternity in some capacity.
Lauryn Hill is known for her faith, so the contrast between the 2 samples works well because it acts as a sort of dialogue between them.
Before I went out to film the creative for the beat you’re going to hear today, I asked God to lead me to the right place. I wanted it to somehow tie into the theme of the beat. So I just drove, with that nagging thought in the back of my mind that I somehow didn’t trust God to lead me there, even though he’s led me my entire life up until this point.
Go figure, humans are flawed. Whatever. Metal Gear.
No, really, I just got in my truck and started driving. I was coming from the gym, and I didn’t even go home to get my PRECIOUS morning smoothie. Another shocker, but actually for real.
What I knew for sure was that the backroads were calling me. This girl I used to basically love told me that she liked to drive around and get lost. I knew right then, and there, she could be the one, and as it turns out, she was indeed the one…that got away.
No matter, I made my trek down the backroads and went on an adventure for the first time in a while.
Upon arriving, I knew there was something odd about the place, but I didn’t think much of it at the time. I was hyper-focused on setting the camera up and getting some cool shots. I filmed a lot of takes, and I had a blast doing it. It was quiet, peaceful, and somewhat serene.
But there was still an aura of emptiness. And though I thrive in isolation, looking back, God had me go there for a reason. If your soul is dangling and it falls into hell, that’s not a good place to be. The place I was at felt dry and dead. Lifeless. Empty. It reminded me of a Twilight Zone episode where the person in question is running around trying to find someone to talk to.
This didn’t hit me when I was there. I was just having fun exploring, like a kid. Only later, when looking at the pictures, could I see why it worked for the song. In a way, it reminded me of Phelps Lake in Pettigrew State Park, a place that some say is haunted and/or stalked by cryptids.
To me, a place where something feels off.
And even though I saw dry bones at the site of filming, Ezekiel 37:1-14 says God can bring those dry bones to life.
The amazing part about God is that, as Lauryn Hill alludes to, he can redeem anyone, regardless of the place they’re currently in.
Still, as I continued walking along the water’s edge, I also saw a lot of dead and uprooted trees.
Matthew 15:13 says, “Every plant, which my heavenly Father hath not planted, shall be rooted up”.
Did God bring me to this place because he wanted me to warn people? I’m pretty sure the answer is yes.
On one of the last nights I finalized the beat, something interesting happened.
Normally, when I sit down to work on something, I get so engrossed in it that I hardly remember to do much of anything else: eat, pee, move, etc. My focus is 1000% on the beat. I become completely engulfed in it. It’s quite an amazing feeling, and something I discussed in the intro video on the YouTube channel. The music quite literally overtakes me as I get sucked into what sometimes feels like an alternate dimension.
I have no sense of time. It’s quite literally the last thing on my mind. But in the heat of that session, I believe God prompted me to look at the clock on my PC. As I glance down, I see it’s 7:13 P.M. Not 2 seconds later, the clock turns. Just like that. If I had looked a second sooner or later, I would have missed it.
What are the odds of that happening, and why is it relevant?
Well, the idea behind the song comes from Matthew 7:13, which says, “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.” (NIV)
This, to me, was a confirmation from God; a stamp of approval, the cherry on top, if you will. That he ordained the entire process.
I don’t believe there are coincidences in this life. I believe that if you’re reading this and aren’t saved, God is sending a message. He’s urging you to put your trust and faith in him! He’s the best thing that ever happened to me, and as I get older, I see his hand on my life and feel his presence daily. I know he has my best interests at heart and loves me deeply.
Let him do the same for you. Let him redeem you.
